Downsizing and moving to the countryside two years on. What it’s really like and some tips if you’re thinking of upping sticks too
The wrench in my gut was too deep to ignore. I was officially worried I’d gotten in way over my head and we were about to make another huge mistake.
We’d tried country cottage living once before. It didn’t work out. Eighteen months after moving in we were moving all our belongings to an off the peg 90s detached house in a cul de sac exactly ten minutes from each member of my family. What I thought was my country cottage dream turned out to be a damp, loud, hovel of a house in a village full of people I couldn’t relate to. Would this time be any different?
This move was even more extreme, the house was smaller than the one we currently lived in, I’d be living further away from my family than I ever had before, which was something I’d always craved for individuality but it was quickly beginning to worry me. Even though we were technically downsizing we were adding a huge chunk onto our almost paid off mortgage and I didn’t know a soul where we were moving to. We were giving up a driveway, a garage, a lawned garden, our open plan kitchen diner and our conservatory. All for what? A quiet life in a country cottage dream I hadn’t been able to shake.
It was too late to go back now. What began as me driving around the Peak District hunting for villages I could see us living in had morphed into me convincing Jason this was absolutely the right thing for us and the time was NOW. He took a lot of convincing. I’d dragged him around endless options until we finally found one that felt like home. The contracts had been exchanged and the moving date was set. But on that last drive home from our final viewing where we’d measured up for furniture, I couldn’t help but worry – wow this feels far and I feel scared.
Two years later and I’m sat writing this outside said cottage. The sun is filtering through the two giant trees that shade our house and the birds are singing as if they’re in a choir. I can confirm I’m happy and with hindsight I had nothing to worry about, though I do think my concerns were valid. So many of us dream of a different kind of life – a quieter, slower paced life surrounded by nature, yet one that still allows us to enjoy 21st century pleasures.
Some of the worries I had weren’t a bother at all where as new ones I’d never even considered arose. Moving away from my family (only 40 minutes in the car but still the furthest I’ve ever been) turned out to be a wonderful way to feel more independent. My mum no longer calls in for a quick minute the way she used to like when she needed to borrow my printer or wanted some help with her phone, but when she does come over we make the most of it. Our time together feels more intentional now and I’ve created more happy memories in the last two years here than I ever did in the six years we lived ten minutes down the road. The same is true of my relationship with my sister. Testing out the local cafe and garden centre breakfasts has been a wonderful experience to share together. Quality time is scheduled so it actually happens.
I have not once missed our driveway or our big garden. I spend more time in the bit of yard we have now than I ever did in our sprawling mass of green suburbia. I’d even call myself a gardener now. The borrowed view we have over the fields is just fine for us and made the house more affordable. Less truly can be more and so much better for us. This has been a relief to experience but it hasn’t all been plain sailing and a few surprises have arisen. These are things that are perhaps obvious to any long-term country dweller but weren’t to me as a newbie.
Stone built houses with wooden windows look delightful, no building can contend with them in my eyes, but oooooft they are draughty and chilly. For someone who’s always cold this means our property isn’t the most eco-friendly and the heating bills are high. Then there are the creepy crawlies. We have an extended circle of woodlice and spider friends we can’t seem to get rid of, though their friendliness changes with the seasons. I love our weathered open floorboards and I don’t want to take any character away from the house, so this is just something we have to live with and try to manage as best we can.
One problem I thought I’d accounted for were the roads. A country life and quiet life go hand in hand in our minds but that isn’t always the case. Our last cottage was on a small but busy road where the number 72 would hurtle past every 20 minutes. It had a very Mary Poppins, ‘posts everyone!’ feel. I was adamant I didn’t want another cottage on a country road this time, but what I didn’t anticipate was how my noise sensitivity would heighten by moving to a quieter area. Six months after moving into what I thought was a very quiet village, and it is compared to the suburbs we were used to, I began to notice the road noise from half a mile away. Even in the countryside there’s little escape from how busy and connected our roads are becoming.
Tourists go hand in hand with this realisation. We’re lucky that we don’t see many day trippers walking past our cottage but I really should’ve expected to see more than I did when moving to a National Park. I feel I escaped this out of luck than anything else because of how tucked away our cottage happens to be. On the other hand, and this has been the biggest surprise of all, I’ve enjoyed the inescapable community that comes (literally) knocking at your door when you move to a tiny village. I thought this would drive me mad but honestly I’ve really enjoyed getting to know our neighbours and I love how everyone shouts, whispers or grunts ‘good morning’ or ‘hello’ when they walk past you, in their own unique way. Tiny connections like these make me feel like I belong.
My dream with this move was to live somewhere that felt right for me, somewhere I felt like I was truly home. City and suburban living never satisfied me in that way. I didn’t know if this would happen and I definitely didn’t expect it to happen, because it felt like too much pressure, but I certainly hoped. I had to take a leap, a risk and follow my curiosity instead. In case you haven’t already guessed, we love it here. I was right, he was wrong (which is always a lovely think to hold close) and we’ve moulded to the space. Sure some extra room always seems ideal but isn’t that always the case? I might be the youngest person who chooses to live here but my old soul feels right at home.
SOME TIPS IF YOU’RE FINDING YOURSELF DREAMING OF A QUIET LIFE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE.
Think about the space you need if you want to downsize. Do all your decluttering first and experiment to figure out how much space you actually need.
You may never know if you’ve found the one but do try to consult both your heart and your head. It can take months to settle into a new home so expecting yourself to know right away is a big ask. There’s always risk involved.
Spend time in the area before you commit to it and drive around instead of just searching online.
Be aware that listed properties may have restrictions around the renovations you can do. Find out if there are any restrictions when you book a viewing.
Prioritise your priorities and stay close to these as it’s likely you’ll have to compromise at some point. Figure out what matters most to you e.g. for me it was a quiet spot, views and a character property. Allow yourself to want what you want and compromise on all the should do’s or must haves you’d actually be willing to let go of.
Factor in potentially higher costs for renovations if you’re buying an older character property as bespoke work is always more expensive.
Be prepared to embrace working around imperfections in older properties as you’ll never make them perfect. Their wonkiness is what makes them special.
Think about how connected you need to be and how important this is for you in terms of proximity to supermarkets, cafes, pubs etc.
Have an older property checked over by a professional to avoid any serious disappointments.
Forget what others think. Everyone’s an expert when it comes to houses but the only opinion that matters is yours and those you’ll be living with.
Let go of your expectations and fears, follow your dreams and allow yourself to have a wild adventure. You’ll figure it all out as you go.
If you’ve got any questions, perhaps if you’re thinking about making a move yourself, just leave them in the comments below and I’ll do my best to help.
