It’s ok to slow down, we’re allowed

This post was originally one of my simple letters, which I send out to the incredible email community that surrounds this blog. If you’d like to join to list you can sign up here.

This time last week I had something of a burnout meltdown. My vlog was just about edited and ready to upload, I knew what I wanted to write about in my weekly letter to you but hadn’t even started it, a brand deal still required negotiation, I was due to go away the following day and hadn’t packed, the house needed cleaning and I needed to ride…. Enter a troll in my DMs and the whole house came tumbling down.

I’m someone who knows the value of committing to less and taking things slow, yet still life gets on top of me. I think this is inevitable no matter how much we dedicate ourselves to slow and simple living. The difference is what we do when overwhelm happens. Do we carry on struggling or do we make a change?

I decided to practice what I preach. The click of my laptop closing was music to my ears and within a few minutes I’d replaced my screen for trees. It wasn’t an instant lift but after a few laps of the field I began to feel better. The smog in my mind began to lift and I realised I’d made the mistake of writing a to do list that day instead of blocking out my time. To do lists are poisonous for me because I always underestimate my time.

I accepted I’d been expecting too much of myself and the you’re a failure for not keeping up inner critic talk wasn’t going to do much good for me, I just needed to slow down.  We’re so quick to scrutinise ourselves for not getting enough done but perhaps we aren’t the problem, our to do lists are. 

To give myself what I needed as a humble human being with limitations I’d need to cut my to do list, preferably in half. The familiar but I can’tthoughts ran through my head but out of compassion for myself they were challenged by you have no choice. My word of the year is love remember and the question I chose to guide me through 2020 was, what would I do if I loved myself?

Here’s what I decided to do. Our situations are always different of course but there’s always room to let go and I’m hoping these examples may help you think of a few things you could try if you find yourself in a similar situation.

Stepped away from social media

Social media is by far the biggest time suck for me and being part of my job it’s easy to trick myself into thinking I need to be on there for work. If I’m honest with myself I’ve been enjoying it less and less lately, Instagram in particular, and I always feel more grounded when I take a break. I’m looking forward to rediscovering the joy of it by limiting my time allowed on there and spending it wisely.

Asked for help

We all need help and there’s no failure letting go of the belief we should be able to do it all. I’m learning that power, strength and growth lie in the acceptance that we cannot do it all or be all things. Just like we’re more than happy to help others and never think others weak for soliciting it, other people are more than willing to help us too. Admit you’re struggling, reach out to those you trust and help will always follow.

Skipped a few things that week

Riding wasn’t a need at all and if cleaning help wasn’t available I would’ve let that go too (thanks mum). I knew you wouldn’t mind me not writing that letter to you last week because I know you’d rather hear from me in the right mindset rather than me writing something quickly just to tick a box. Doing less stuff but doing it right always has more impact.

Created a joy vs profitability list for work tasks

Drawing a line down a page, I filled one side with the things I find joyful in my business and the other with the things that are profitable. I chose three that meet in the middle and decided to let go of the rest. I decided to cut down the time I spend on Instagram significantly, write these letters bi-weekly from now on and commit to less freelance work. Unless I want to build an empire (which I don’t), something’s gotta give.

Gave myself permission to take more breaks long term

Prevention is always better than the cure right? Working from home and for ourselves has its benefits but only if we’re the kind of boss we’d be to others. I’d never expect an employee to work into the evenings, answer messages at any hour, take little time off and take on more than they can humanly handle. So why do I expect that of myself? More holiday time and more gentle structure with working hours is coming my way. I’m hoping this will help stop the feeling that I’m always on.

I’m wondering what can you take off your to do list this week? I’m cheering you on to go to town.