We don’t have to live the life we’re sold

I had to go to the supermarket this weekend to get the very specific laundry detergent I like.

It’s eco friendly and kind to my capsule wardrobe so I don’t mind making the special trip. Our local shop has a vast selection of one detergent on offer, so no luck there.

Compared to our tiny village shop, supermarkets are huge! As we rushed around the aisles so we could get what we needed and get out of there as quickly as possible I thought about all those things we’re sold on a daily basis; sometimes obviously but sometimes not so obviously. The Saturday supermarket shop, promotions at work, a mortgage for a house, social gatherings, debt, two kids, a husband, new clothes every week, a dog – or a cat, matching furniture, long working hours. The list is endless.

It’s all there for the taking isn’t it.

This merry-go-round bothers me on a daily basis but this weekend at the supermarket my sensitivity felt heightened. It bothers me because of how little we’re encouraged to ask ourselves if the generic life we’re being sold is even what we really want. If it is, that’s fine. But what if we want to work part-time, rent forever, be childfree, spend 50% of our income on travel every year, stick to a capsule wardrobe of less than 50 pieces or boycott the alcohol? When we do this we’re pretty much kicked off the merry-go-round and stand out for being ‘different’. It’s nuts.

A few years ago I needed a permission slip to want what I wanted in life. I needed someone to tell me it was ok to even just want to get off the merry-go-round, let alone actually get off it. I felt like the things my gut was aching for ‘weren’t for people like me’ and they felt too scary to pursue. What would people think? I got stuck in that functioning zone. I use the term functioning zone over comfort zone because there was nothing comfortable about it, life ticked over but I wasn’t happy. I wanted something different.

Fast forward to 4th February 2019 and I’ve gone after 99% of those things I ached for. I live in a smaller house than I used to without a garden, because I don’t want a drive or a lawnmower, I’ve spoken publicly about how I want to remain child-free and I proudly wear my less than 50 piece capsule wardrobe on repeat. I decided to chase my dreams and go freelance with my writing and photography work and I continue to avoid any debt with the exception of our mortgage.

None of these things seem to feature on the merry-go-round.

I found people don’t really care, and if they do it’s all about them anyway. When someone quizzes you for living life a little differently it’s usually because it’s got them thinking about their own desires and roadblocks. What a relief! Everybody is so busy thinking about themselves they don’t even care about you. If they do, it’s for a matter of seconds before they’re back to themselves.

So if you need a permission slip, like I used to – this is it, sealed in an envelope with a kiss on it. There is no waiting room for us to sit in until our ‘real lives’ begin. This is it.

This was originally one of my simple letters, which I send out to my email list community each week. If you’d like more lessons learned, insights and tips for a simpler more creative life delivered straight to your inbox each week, you can sign up here.